Relationships: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship is stressful. People experience many fears such as:
Fear of ruining the relationship
Fear of being alone
Fear of being single
Fear of making a mistake
Fear of losing ‘the one’ and living an unfulfilled life with substitutes because we lost the ‘real thing’
Fear of never getting married and having children
Fear of never meeting someone else or falling in love ever again
These fears result in the following unhealthy behaviours:
- self-imposed pressure to conform to our partner’s ways of doing things
- a tendency to accommodate and compromise at the expense of ourselves
- avoidance of confrontation even when our principles are at stake
- reluctance to enforce boundaries in case we alienate our partner
- putting up with toxic, abusive behaviours
While these behaviours may seem rational in the short term, as they smooth out early rough spots in the relationship, they are unwise for the long term, as they cause issues and patterns that are damaging to both the individual and the relationship.
In this confusing mess, our heads are filled with thoughts: Is he or she the one for me? Is it meant to be? Can we make it work? How do I know?
Rid yourself of the fears so that you can make decisions with a clear head!
Break the patterns that do not serve you. Change behaviours.
Never sacrifice your dreams and goals for theirs or vice versa …you will come to resent them (or them you) later on. Explore who you are and where you want to be and whether these are allied with your partner or not.
Always consider your values – your values are a core part of who you are at your very soul. If yours and your partner’s values are not aligned, these can be re-aligned if you and your partner commit and mutually decide to do so.
Our relationship personal breakthrough can assist you in resolving all of the above … have the love, life and relationship you so desire!
Author – Louanne Smith
Contact us for a free information session to find out more